Ok, so there are times at work when something comes along and just totally blows me away. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's just so WTF that all I can do is point and laugh. Yesterday was one of those times where I pointed and laughed.
Toward the end of the day, I got a package from a person who we brought in to work for the company (mon boulot). About a week earlier, I sent him a new hire packet, which contained his paperwork, all neatly placed in a black trifold folder with the company logo on it. The folders are great for sending those types of things, but unfortunately they are easy to stain and tend to act like carbon paper -- if you lay a piece of paper on top of it and write something, 9 times out of 10 you'll be able to make out the imprint of the words on the folder.
I *almost* wish the new guy knew that.
When I opened the package, I found that he used same folder to keep his paperwork together. I mindlessly looked at the folder before I opened it, and saw that some words had been etched into the front of the folder. At first glance, all I saw was their return address and the company address. That makes sense, as he probably filled out the mailing information after he put the folder in the mailing envelope. However, upon further inspection, I saw a few other words...and couldn't stop myself from laughing!!
...this fool, without knowing that his words would transfer onto the folder (we assume), wrote what you can mostly make out in the picture above. In my profession, we don't expect to see a lot of politically incorrect or off-color things in or on standard paperwork...so when I saw the phrase "nigga please" on the top of an official company new hire folder, I almost choked on a guffaw!
Come on.....nigga please?!?!?! PRICELESS!
What made it better was some of the other stuff written on there. Words like "dryer", "spray", "clothes", and "2day" were scattered amongst some other words I couldn't quite make out. From that, I decided I knew what happened...and since I'm writing about it, I'll share it on the blogosphere:
Mr. New Hire sat down at the kitchen table one morning so that he could fill out his new hire paperwork. He took the papers out of the folder and sat the folder aside. In the middle of filling out his stuff, he got a phone call from one of his buddies...so now he's multitasking. After a minute or so of being on the phone, his wife approached him and tried to talk to him while he was still on the phone and filling out paperwork. Not being able to get him to pay attention to her, his wife pulled out a sheet of paper from somewhere, put it on the folder, and wrote a note to Mr. New Hire. She asked him to wash the clothes, take the shirts out of the wash, spray them down, hang them, and then put the rest of the stuff in the dryer. Amidst his frustration with trying to juggle his paperwork, a phone conversation, and his wife nagging him about some laundry when she *knows* he's busy doing stuff (and realizing that "get off my back, woman" is too dated of an expression), he grabbed the pen from her and wrote NIGGA PLEASE. Of course, this annoyed his wife and she walked away. Finally, he was able to finish up the rest of his paperwork and talk to his buddy in peace...which, in turn, made this whole story possible.
Things like this make me smile :-D
It seems like I see things in a very different way than other people. I keep hearing people talk about what their kids have been up to, what their spouses have been up to, and how they all react to it. I've come to realize that I've got a unique (or perhaps warped) view when it comes to life!
I went to see a townhouse on my lunch break, and the owner wasn't supposed to be at home. Well, that ended up being true... but it didn't end up how Marva and I had expected it to be. When I first saw the red car in the driveway, I got this vibe that something wasn't exactly kosher. When we got to the door, instead of just using the key to get in, Marva rang the doorbell. I just knew someone would answer, but little did we know the blue collar Stedman Graham would answer the door. Upon answering the door, he told us that his girlfriend was the one that owned the townhouse and that he was just getting in. Apparently, Mr. Graham over there wasn't aware that people were going to be coming to view the house... so he cautioned us of the mess. To keep the story really short (cuz the clock is tic-tic-tickin'), he'd just returned from a game of golf (at 1:30pm) and had apparently retired to the upstairs loft to watch a few "internet videos" a few minutes before we arrived. While we toured the house, Mr. Graham sat downstairs playing what sounded like Halo II on the ol' XBox or Playstation. I saw underwear sitting on top of an unmade bed, denim overalls on the floor next to the bed, lovely magazines in the bathroom and computer loft (next to the "internet videos"). I couldn't get out of that place fast enough. 
That's pretty much what happened in the middle of my day of mad dashes yesterday. For some reason, it was meant for me to be on the run from 3:15 until lord knows when last night. Errands, obligations, bla bla bla. The important thing here is that at about 4:45, I stopped and looked up on my way back to the office. 
Today is a fabulous day. Julian has gone to New York to visit a friend, so there's nobody to look after the littles during the day. I couldn't leave them outside in their puppy yard all alone all day, so I got clearance to work from home. Aside from the house being insanely quiet, it's absolutely wonderful to be able to concentrate on what I need to do without being interrupted or distracted every few minutes. Now I get to choose and schedule my own distractions! Oh, and what kind of Portia would I be if I didn't choose the littles? 
